Jin (false_intensity) wrote,

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Kittie goodness

Women and cats do as they dammed well please, and men and dogs had best learn to live with it.

Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will urinate on your computer

Never feed your cat anything that clashes with the carpet.

Never wear anything that panics the cat.

There are many intelligent species in the universe. They all own cats

These aren't my thoughts, they're my cat walking on the keyboard

To a cat, "NO!" means "Not while I'm looking".

We're staying together for the sake of the cats.

Curiosity never killed anything except maybe a few hours.

If you're not receiving enough attention, try knocking over several expensive antique lamps.

Never sleep alone when you can sleep on someone's face

Anyone who considers protocol unimportant has never dealt with a cat.

Isn't there always a cat napping on whatever you're reading?

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.

After dark all cats are leopards

All I need to know I learned from my cat

Anything not nailed down is a cat toy.

Cats know how we feel. They don't care, but they know.

If a cat does something, we call it instinct; if we do the same thing, for the same reason, we call it intelligence.

Only my cat understands me.

Rule of Feline Frustration: When your cat has fallen asleep on your lap and looks utterly content and adorable, you will suddenly have to go to the bathroom.

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through the snow. -- Jeff Valdez

You own a dog, but you can only feed a cat.

Dogs come when called. Cats take a message and get back to you

Everything I know I learned from my cat: When you're hungry, eat. When you're tired, nap in a sunbeam. When you go to the vet's, pee on your owner

God is really only another artist. He invented the giraffe, the elephant and the cat. He has no real style, He just goes on trying other things

The naming of cats is a difficult matter. It isn't just one of your holiday games. You may think at first I'm mad as a hatter. When I tell you a cat must have three different names...

When I play with my cat, how do I know that she is not passing time with me rather than I with her? -

The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter,
It isn't just one of your holiday games;
You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter
When I tell you, a cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.
First of all, there's the name that the family use daily,
Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or James,
Such as Victor or Jonathan, George or Bill Bailey--
All of them sensible everyday names.
There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter,
Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames:
Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter--
But all of them sensible everyday names.
But I tell you, a cat needs a name that's particular,
A name that's peculiar, and more dignified,
Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular,
Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride?
Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum,
Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo, or Coricopat,
Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum-
Names that never belong to more than one cat.
But above and beyond there's still one name left over,
And that is the name that you never will guess;
The name that no human research can discover--
But THE CAT HIMSELF KNOWS, and will never confess.
When you notice a cat in profound meditation,
The reason, I tell you, is always the same:
His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation
Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name:
His ineffable effable
Deep and inscrutable singular Name.
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